From Intention to Integrity: Building a Life That Holds

When Integrity Gets Real

We all have values. We set intentions to live by them. But what happens when life applies pressure?

What happens when living your truth means saying no to the job, speaking up at the family table, letting go of relationships, or risking being misunderstood?

That’s when integrity becomes more than a word. It becomes a structure that something your life is either built on, or not.

Let’s Redefine Integrity

Most people give a standard answer when asked what integrity means. They say:

“It’s doing the right thing when no one is looking.”

And I get it. That’s part of it. But let’s be honest, that answer feels canned. Almost like it’s been programmed into us.

As a former hiring manager, I heard that exact phrase from about three out of every five applicants word for word. It didn’t tell me anything about who they were. It told me they’d memorized a socially acceptable script.

That definition centers performance more than presence. It’s focused on being watched rather than being rooted. It defines integrity by external behavior, not internal alignment.

To me, integrity is something structural. It’s the foundation beneath your life. Like the integrity of a building, unseen, but essential.

So instead of asking, “Am I being good when no one sees?

”I ask:

• Is this structure sound?

• Can it hold under pressure?

• Can it bend without breaking?

  
  

Integrity is the invisible architecture that keeps you whole.

The Space Between Belief and Behavior

Most of us want to be kind, honest, inclusive, and compassionate. But values don’t just live in our journals or on vision boards. They live in our actions.

And that’s where things get real.

• We intend to rest until guilt creeps in.

• We believe in justice until it disrupts our comfort.

• We set boundaries until someone pushes back.

That gap between what we believe and what we do? That’s where dissonance grows.

And it’s exhausting. It shows up in our nervous systems, in our relationships, in our sense of self. It leaves us feeling like we’re living someone else’s life.

Integrity Isn’t Perfection, It’s Realignment

We’re not meant to be perfect. But we are meant to pay attention.

Integrity doesn’t mean you always get it right. It means you notice when you don’t. You pause. You repair. You return. You recommit.

It’s not about being flawless. It’s about being faithful to your values.

The strongest structures aren’t perfect. They’re maintained.

When Speaking Up Is the Cost

Right now, there are a lot of people standing up and being brave in the face of injustice. And others are staying silent.

I know my thoughts my beliefs about the injustice in the world sometimes isolate me. Not everyone wants to talk about it. Not everyone sees what I see.

And that can be lonely.

But it doesn’t stop me from speaking up. It doesn’t stop me from pointing out the wrongs I witness.

Because I believe some things should not be debated.

Human dignity should never be political. And justice?

I use that word for lack of a better one. Because what we often call justice can’t undo harm or restore what’s been lost. I don’t speak up in pursuit of false justice. I speak up for change, so others don’t have to seek it in the first place.

I stand by that. I stand by that foundation.

Even if it isolates me. Even if I lose people because of it. Even if the room goes quiet.

Because I should not have to be silent when someone is being wronged.

Silence can be mistaken for acceptance.

That is the structure I live by, and it will hold me.

What Living Your Values Looks Like

Integrity doesn’t always show up as a bold protest or a dramatic moment. Sometimes it does look like raising your voice, drawing a line, or being the one who won’t look away from harm.

But more often, it shows up in the way you live. It’s quiet.

Consistent.

Embodied.

It shows up in how you respond instead of react. In how you carry yourself in private as well as in public.

Unwavering.

Authentic.

Rooted.

It’s not always clean. Or quiet. Or polished. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it shakes. Sometimes it’s raw and untamed but aligned with the truth of who you are.

And here’s how it might look for you:

• If you value inner peace, you start the day with three minutes of breathwork. And when you miss, you forgive yourself and begin again.

• If you value honesty, you speak truthfully even when it’s uncomfortable. And if your words land too sharply, you soften and repair.

• If you value justice, you spend, vote, and speak in ways that reflect your ethics, not perfectly, but consciously.

• If you value authenticity, you stop shrinking to fit in. You let people see your real not just your polished.

  
  

Living in integrity isn’t a checklist. It’s a practice, a sacred one.

Tools for Returning to Your Foundation

None of us live in perfect alignment all the time. We fall out. We get scared. We forget.

But integrity isn’t about never falling. It’s about knowing how to return.

Here are a few ways to do that:

Pause & Reflect

Ask:

• Am I acting from fear or avoidance?

• What would integrity look like here, even if it’s uncomfortable?

Repair & Recommit

If your actions hurt someone or yourself, own it. Apologize. Adjust. That’s integrity.

Surround Yourself with Integrity-Builders

Find people who live the way you aspire to live. Let their presence remind you of who you are when the world tries to make you forget.

Build What Holds

This is the work of a lifetime. Not about high ground or self-righteousness. But about wholeness.

It’s about becoming someone you trust by holding yourself accountable in all situations, public and private. It’s about letting your values shape you, not just inspire you.

So tend to that foundation. Build slowly. Repair gently. Stand bravely.

Because the structure of your life is only as strong as the values it’s built on.

And if you’re out here walking your talk.

Even when it’s hard.

Even when it costs you something.

Even when your voice shakes.

I see you.