Getting my shit together!

Originally posted October 15, 2023 — Expanded 2025 Edition Oct 8th,2025

"Getting my shit together," we’ve all said it, or at least thought it. There’s even a book about it, because let’s be honest, this phrase has become part of our shared language of self-improvement.

It’s what we say when life feels messy, when our to-do list grows faster than we can check things off, or when we feel like we’re just one step behind the version of ourselves we want to be. Sometimes it’s a joke we toss around with friends, and other times it’s a quiet whisper we mutter to ourselves when things start to unravel.

But here’s the truth: for most of us, “getting our shit together” is less about having it all figured out and more about trying to stay grounded while life keeps shifting beneath our feet.

The Illusion of “Together”

We tend to imagine “together” as this polished, linear stat color-coded planners, matching containers, stable income, calm relationships, and the serene kind of confidence that people in commercials seem to have.

But that image is a trap. Because even people who appear to have it all together are often just holding it together.

What I’ve realized is that “together” isn’t a destination; it’s a daily negotiation between who we are, who we’re becoming, and what life throws at us in between.

The Conversation That Sparked a Shift

The other day, I told my husband, “I keep saying I need to get my shit together, but I don’t actually know what that looks like. Maybe that’s why I can’t seem to do it.”

We both laughed, but the question stuck with me. So I took it to my mat — not the to-do list, not the laundry, but the feeling behind it.

In meditation, I asked myself, “What does getting my shit together actually mean for me?”

The answer didn’t come in words. It came as a quiet sense of permission — to stop performing order and start seeking alignment.

What It Really Means

For me, getting my shit together isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.

It’s about cleaning up my energy before I clean up my inbox. It’s about remembering that my worth isn’t tied to productivity. It’s about checking in with my emotions as often as I check my email.

It means tending to my mental and emotional well-being with the same care I give to others. It means choosing peace over performance even when the world tells me those aren’t the same thing. It means allowing rest to be sacred, not shameful.

On paper, it might look like journaling, setting boundaries, saying no, or organizing my workspace. But beneath that, it’s a spiritual practice one rooted in honesty and self-respect.

The Inner and Outer Work

Of course, there’s also the external side. I do have bills to pay, emails to answer, and laundry to fold. I’m still trying to remember where I put that one thing that would make my space look more “together.”

However, even that kind of work has taken on a new meaning for me. Now, I see those little acts, such as washing dishes, clearing clutter, and catching up on finances not as chores, but as energy work.

Every small act of order creates a ripple of clarity. Every time I make space, I remind myself that I deserve peace.

,

So yes, I’m still “getting my shit together.” I probably always will be. But that no longer feels like failure it feels like growth.

The Comparison Trap

It’s easy to look at someone else and assume they’re ahead of us on the “togetherness” scale. But that illusion is just another form of distraction.

Everyone’s path is different. For some, getting it together means saving money or setting goals. For others, it’s getting out of bed, asking for help, or forgiving themselves for the mistakes of yesterday.

We don’t have to fit into one mold of progress. The real work is learning what your version of 'together' looks like and honoring it without apology.

A Working Definition

If I had to define it now, I’d say:

Getting my shit together means creating a life that feels congruent with my truth — one choice, one breath, one messy, beautiful step at a time.

It’s about integrity, not image. Progress, not perfection. And peace, not performance.

Maybe we never fully “get there.” Perhaps we can continue learning how to return to presence, purpose, and balance.

So instead of asking, “When will I get my shit together? "Maybe the better question is, “What does feeling together mean for me, right now?”

Sometimes, together means paying the bills and planning ahead. And some days, it looks like taking a nap, lighting a candle, and giving yourself a little grace.

Whichever version you’re living today, it counts. You’re still showing up. And that, my friend, is the most “together” thing of all.

Reflection Prompts

1. What does “together” feel like in your body calm, focused, transparent, open?

2. Are there parts of your life where you’re performing order instead of seeking alignment?

3. What small act, physical or emotional, could bring you closer to peace today?

4. How do you define success when no one’s watching?